**There are sexual and mature references in this post, if you are under 13 years old, please skip this article. I can't actually stop you, so we're going on the honor system, here.**
The top 100 reasons it's great to be a guy
- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
- Movie nudity is virtually always female.
- You know stuff about tanks.
- A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
- Monday Night Football.
- You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
- Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
- You can open all your own jars.
- Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
- Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind.
- When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
- All your orgasms are real.
- A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
- Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
- You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
- You understand why Stripes is funny.
- You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.
- Your last name stays put.
- You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
- When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
- You can kill your own food.
- The garage is all yours.
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
- Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
- You never have to clean the toilet.
- You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
- Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
- Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
- The National College Cheerleading Championship
- None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
- You don't have to shave below your neck.
- You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
- If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
- You can write your name in the snow.
- You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
- Everything on your face stays its original color.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- You can be president.
- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
- Flowers fix everything.
- You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
- You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
- You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
- Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
- You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
To see the 51 other reasons why it's great to be a guy, please visit the original site: http://darrel.knutson.com/
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